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This bunch of self indulgent middle class types get right up my nose ! Apparently members of a religion which advocates self denial and a lifestyle of simple pursuits and a retreat from the material world, they are instead to be found driving to and from the Priory in nice cars so that they can fill their fat little purple garments with Thornton's chocolate and ice cream and bunches of expensive Interflora bouquets every day of the week, that's when they're not stuffing their baskets full of luxury items in Booths and swigging Coke by the gallon. Have you seen the car park at the monastery full of BMW's and Merc's ? - they can't all belong to the halfwit builders covering the giant wigwam in gold leaf ! If they are denying themselves anything at all, it is the chance of earning a honest living by avoiding doing any work at all and spending the rest of their lives chanting gibberish and gazing at their navels. Where was the Buddhist float at the carnival ? They can't be short of a few bob judging by the size of that golden monstrosity in Conishead, isn't it time they contributed something to local life? If they want to pray for World Peace, I suggest they try doing it in Afghanistan.
The New Kadampa Tradition have been linked to murders of people close to the dali lama who is a traditional buddhist.
They are taking advantage of the naivete of Western people who do not have a long tradition of Buddhism and Buddhist history within their culture. They simply do not know better and fall under the spell of what amounts to be nothing more than a cult.
 
ULVERSTON IS NOT IN THE LAKE DISTRICT OR CUMBRIA. NUCLEAR WASTE, SHEEP SHAGGING, CREAM TEA, OVERPRICED TOURIST SHIT HOLES, GURNING FESTIVALS AND SHAGGING YOUR FAMILY. THAT IS NOT US SO WILL PEOPLE STOP SAYING THEY LIVE IN THE LAKE DISTRICT AND CUMBRIA AS WE ARE FAR BETTER THAN ALL THAT.
Sun Hotel under new management
Thanks Blueherring
ULVERSTON ALBERT ASSOCIATION
Cllr.Helen Irving,
Cllr. James Airey,
Cllr.Margaret Hornby
Well what do we have here? Three members of Ulverston Town council who attend very few committee appointments and get trips to Albert paid for by us! scandal.
TESCO AND FOCUS, WHAT IS GOING ON? 16TH MAY 2006...“Focus is not just a DIY concern — they sell everything and they would definitely affect Ulverston’s shopkeepers and traders. We will do everything we can to oppose it" RALPH SPOURS.A packed meeting called by the Ulverston Traders’ Association agreed to strongly oppose plans for a Focus DIY store at Canal Head. EVENING MAIL. 3RD JUNE 2009 Mr Spours said about Tesco opening!: “It’s cleared up all the confusion and some of the scurrilous rumours that were whizzing around town. The traders are delighted to be reassured it’s opening and we look forward to it.” EVENING MAIL. I looked in the paper today and i was quite amazed about the way Ralph Spours and the Ulverston Traders are backing Tesco but when you cast you mind back to when Ralph Spours said " they sell everything and they would definitely affect Ulverston’s shopkeepers and traders. We will do everything we can to oppose it" about the Focus Diy opening on canal head, we must ask ourselves what is the DIFFERENCE between focus and tesco? Tesco also sell lots of goods that are sold in the rest of town but he seems to want to back tesco but not focus. More people wanted Focus in the town but Ralph Spours decided to be a spokesperson for the whole of Ulverston (AGAIN!) by saying we did not want it. The word hypocrite comes to mind here and i will remind Ralph Spours what that means....a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. After doing some asking around it would appear that most of the "Traders" own clothes shops! Why the change of heart Ralph? Tesco will do more to damage the town than Focus. Could this be a case of some underhand tactics taking place? Us at Ulverston rant a few years ago put loads of pictures on here of Ralph and changed them to make him look even more stupid than normal, we have given up on this as it would appear that he is making an idiot of himself without any help from us.
New Ulverston logo do not use or we will hunt you down! ©
The Ulverston Rant design team have made a new logo for the town and i think it is far better than the crap we use now.
Far better than the council designed crap i think.
Ulverston dog "up for it!
 . I have decided that if the national press want to publish the names of BNP members i will do the same, here are the members in Ulverston........
Phil Shatwell and Shirley Shatwell, Ulverston
Bill Round, Newbiggin, Ulverston
FULL LIST CLICK HERE
Never let it be said that The Evening Mail never contradicts itself 
Ulverston Rant warning
FAKE VIAGRA
A source close to me has said to watch out for fake Viagra pills that are getting sold in the pubs round town, all they do is cause a rush of blood to the head (i am sure this is the point of them anyways).
If you ask me the stuff is overated as it takes 30 minutes to start working by that time they usually manage to wriggle free and escape! But seriously guys watch out what pills you are popping.
If anyone can tell me what the below email says i would be happy to hear it, is this what the kids call "txt speak"?
can i just say if u r de same person hu takes de piss outa bara people ur a nob end and i fuckin h8t u .... u think its funni to take de piss outa poepl dat live in ur home town ur home countie but u knw wt ur a nob urslef nd i fuckin h8 ur syte ..!!! u shud be reported for invaion of privay always takoin pictures of people without dere permision den wrting bad stuf bout em.... ur an imiture adult hu needs tolearn to grow up ... spo pak up nd fuck off
Jehovah's witness
survival guide.
BACKGROUND...The name of a religious cult who get brainwashed by mind control techniques into believing that their interpretation of the Bible is better than anyone else's. They have their hideout on Hart Street.
It was started by some idiot that got this vision of the world coming to an end in 1914. When 1914 came and went, he then managed to pursuade his flock that it would happen in 1942. When 1942 came and went, well let me put it this way... Anyone who would even think about joining this cult is mentally ill to begin with.
They publish some toilet trash called the Watch Tower and are also known as the Watch Tower Society and JWs. In 1933 their leaders conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Several of their top members were thrown in jail for committing fraud, larceny, sexual deviant acts, etc. But somehow the cult manages to go on.
If a member deviates in any way from their way of life all other members are required to scorn them. This is just one of their many mind control techniques.
But the worse thing about JWs is that every year hundreds of children die because these geniuses think that "Thou shalt not eat blood" refers to life saving transfusions instead of becoming a vampire.
Jehovah's Witnesses are the "False Prophets" that God refers to in the Bible. When one comes to your door, just give them a copy of the letter their leaders sent in support of Hitler and tell the bigots to fuck off.
HOW DO I SPOT ONE?... They have flat faces from getting doors slammed in their faces. They are a rare breed, they usually travel in groups. They can be found roaming through neighborhoods standing on the doorsteps of homes. They are also people that are fated to die from simple wounds because they are too rubbish to accept blood transfusions.
WHAT SHOULD I DO I SEE ONE?... In the event that you see a Jehovah's witness follow these steps. Close the curtains, shut off the tv, and hide. The jehovah will then proceed to ring your door bell, stay calm don't make any sudden movements, this will enrage the witness but they will soon leave, but watch out they still may be watching.
 ULVERSTON, LANCASHIRE.
" Cumbria is an administrative area and will not alter the traditional boundaries of counties."
DoE. 1.4.74.
The amount of ignorance surrounding the dreadful "county of cumbria" and its component districts amazes me.
Nobody seems to know, or care that when SLDC was formed the government said that the names of new districts would not supercede already established names such as Furness or indeed south Westmorland. I live in Furness, I am not within the LDNP, ergo I do not live in south lakeland. And damned glad of that too!
What have all you pseudo cumbrians got against Furness, Westmorland or Lancashire? Why do you insist on using artificial bureaucratic tags to describe where you live. Is it snobbery, ignorance or a grudge against the true county/area in which you live. I always use Lancs. and have never encountered any problem.
Those of you who think you live in Cumbria/South Cumbria/South Lakeland are in for a real treat when they change councils again. Those who think that ever changing identities are fun things will have a brand new title to play with, the ardent cumbrians will maybe come to realise what we Lancastrians/Westmerians feel now!
I use my LA postcode and always use Lancashire. Royal Mail say this is perfectly acceptable and I have had no trouble with the post. Though I can see LA (Lancaster) may cause problems for Kendal folk. If cumbria council delivers good efficient services then that is progress and is fine by me. Speaking up for Lancs/Westmorland is not a fight against local government, rather it is an appeal to protect and promote centuries of history. Simple.
DO IT THE DELLOW WAY!!
Every Village has one..........and boy oh boy is Ulverston shaping up to get ours! Of whom do I speak? The one and only "hirsuted hero", Mr Geoff "my way is the only way" Dellow. Here is a man who has achingly strong ambitions to be on the County Council, a political Firebrand who, singlehandedly, will change the face of local politics forever, and will Govern the way we live with an iron fist for the benefit of the decent "right thinking" people of Ulverston, As for the rest of us, he will come down on us with Mighty Force and smite with fire and vengeance those who do not obey the teachings of St Dellow.
So what qualifies our Saviour for the trappings of such high office? Hmmm..let me see...
He has a fancy to follow horses round the streets and gleefully photographs the shit they drop to publish on his website. What his point is, I don't know, but, 50 or 60 years ago he would have worn his bloody camera out! (I trust this activity will go on his manifesto!)
His other most engaging activity is also to photograph the Criminals, along with photos of their cars and numberplates, who park on double yellows, (no photos of blue badges), people who park by the cash machines for 2 minutes (as you do), and white van drivers sat in stationary vans on their mobile phones and publish these on his website (Harumph! Who needs the permission of the perpetrators ? Not me!!)..I can only assume that the purpose of this excercise is to show to the general public that the town is full of lawbreakers and nobody is catching them, except for the ever alert Dellow. This self serving behaviour will, I am sure (not!) make everyone aware that he is indeed eminently qualified to attain responsible, high office, and feel sure that Carlisle and the Court of Human Rights will embrace him warmly?
 
Mr Dellow, it appears has a self serving view about everything, his website is an eye popping read, his campaign is...Lets get it done..but..if it aint done the Dellow way, it aint done right, and, because it aint right, there will be a 500 page dissertation dropping on some fuckers desk to tell them why it's wrong and what needs to be done to satisfy Dellow. The poor bloody Town Councillors are all a pack of useless tossers according to Dellow, completely forgetting the fact that the good people of Ulverston voted them in, and, have continued to do so, because, in the main, they do try hard for the Town, despite the constraints put on them by Carlisle (God I wish it was Lancaster, but thats another story)
I have to summarise this guy as a career arsehole, windbag, nosey parker, nincompoop, and when I was a child, a "tell tale tit" the only soldier in the Regiment in step, broadly speaking a typical teacher (them as can do...them as can't teach) In my view the antics and rantings of this idiot completely disqualify him from holding any political office at all....and...if you read his website.....geoffdellow.blogspot.com...you may find some of it quite disturbing, and maybe, worrying. He holds his "surgery" at 11.00 am every Saturday morning in the Rose and Crown over coffee, monopolising a seat that a proper pubgoer should have, your views will be welcome, but not appreciated....because....you'll be FUCKING WRONG! ...so there !!
" As it's so important (?) to Ulverston people to get road markings repainted within the next month, and, the County is unable to do the work, is there any altenative to Ulverstonians doing it themselves? "
Dellowspeak......Compulsory Community Service ?
" Tourists...I hadn't realised just how many there are! Many come once a year at least, sometimes more! "
Dellowspeak.....Thats my excuse for my B&B failing and I'm sticking to it!
"I cannot go along with their (Evening Mail) sensation-seeking approach to Journalism."
"I avoid it (Evening Mail) like the plague."
"Someone in the Evening Mail put my view across very well....."
"I love pitting my wits against the odds both physically and mentally. If I kill myself - so be it - that is what makes life worth living."
"Are people who risk their lives for their beliefs a little deranged?"
"No wonder I've been a risk taker all my life."
All taken from..
geoffdellow.blogspot.com
ULVERSTON IS NOW SAFE
They do say that statistics can show that an elephant can hang from a cliff with it's testicles tied to a daisy...I then read Ulverston's top cop report in the Liar and the statistics he used to sound as pleased as the policeman in Punch and Judy."Reported" incidents of anti social behaviour have gone down....really? Is that because of his efforts or the fact that the public can't be bothered reporting things anymore cos they know the cops won't bother and don't give a fuck anymore. Pointedly...burglaries have gone up from 6 to 9, assaults have risen from 103 to 116 and..."just 6" involved wounding or GBH..They weren't outside Clancy's t'other night obviously !! i'd like to know how much money, men, time,and energy spent on chasing down that most heinous of criminal...the poor bloody motorist. By the way, no mention of knobs in cars banged up either. You will be glad to know, " Ulverston is now safe"......official !!
Video i found on Youtube, well worth a look.
The Ulverston Pub Scene.......A Story of Our Times.
By Wise old Dave
Like most blokes of my generation, pubs became a central part of ones social life, right from an early age. I remember, as a child growing up in the 1950's, family trips to the pub on Sunday dinner time. My Dad would go in the bar to play cards/darts/ dominoes with his mates. He would sit my Mam in the "Snug" with the rest of the women and send over the odd bottle of Mackeson to keep her quiet. I would be tethered to a drainpipe outside and he would send out a small bottle of Sass and a packet of Smiths Crisps. After what seemed like a lifetime they would come out of the pub, all red faced and wobbly, and, if they remembered to untie me ,we would all trot off home for dinner. Yes...I liked going to the pub!!
In my formative teenage years they ripped the heart and soul out of Barrow, bulldozing 13, yes, 13 pubs in the process. Those that were left standing were shite, selling shite beer like Watneys Red Barrel and other such Keg concoctions. The more adventurous of us sought pastures new and we found...Ulverston...Li'le Pig Day, Hartleys Best, stonking pubs....Yes....Ulverston was for me !! You could also drive home in those days cos you were too pissed to walk!
The years rolled past, and after one particularly sphincter loosening contract in the Far East I decided it was UK only for me from then on, and thus chose to set up my home base in Ulverston. A wise choice, as I found the pubs that suited me, met some wonderful people and made some lifelong friends. My weekends home were a joy to behold and... Yes...all was rosy in the world!
The difference between North and South beer prices then was quite marked. I use to tease my Southern counterparts about what twats they were for paying stupid prices....however.....prices here started to rise quite dramatically, until, there was no difference, in fact, some brands became even more expensive than down South!! Worryingly I also observed that the pubs were getting emptier? My commercial brain kicked in and I could only conclude that this was the work of a Cartel...a price fixing body with no competition..The Ulverston LVA !!
What kind of organisation is this? I wondered. It should be on top of it's game, marketing the town's brilliant pubs to the tourists etc. with good leadership from the top down......... Lets take a closer look !!!!
The Leader is Mr D Mackenzie, Landlord of that fine old coaching Inn, The Sun. A landmark establishment with rich historical overtones ....a flagship for the Town and the rest of it's alehouses. The entrance to the Inn is decorated with notices that say "Nice, friendly atmosphere" (This offence under the Trades Descriptions Act has yet to be prosecuted) The journey from the door to the bar is quite arduous, experienced fell walkers can manage it, as your feet stick to the floorcovering, loosely described as a carpet. Once at the bar you will notice a silver haired gentleman, sat on a barstool....mine host...dishing out a warm welcome, and bonhomie, to all and sundry, inviting you to partake of his fine selection of well kept ales at reasonable tourist rates. Drinking in the atmosphere, and, ignoring that strange odour of stale piss and beer, do not be surprised if you think you have landed on the film set of The Star Wars Bar as you assimilate the local "characters". There is plenty of Space Age machinery with flashing lights and bells that keep the regulars mesmerised, the dodgy TV and the curious splash like stains on the threadbare pool table that could be the remains of some once faithless alien romantic encounter. If you are lucky enough to land there on a weekend evening you will discover the downstairs "Nite Spot" This masquerades as a terrorist training camp, a school of excellence for substance use and abuse and general thuggery, populated by young children, dancing with their feet rooted to the floor. The local Bobbies recognise this facility as a useful social resource for young people as it keeps them off the streets, and hey, what the eye doesn't see....wink wink...immunity from prosecution is his reward. By the way, the two knuckle scraping gentlemen stood at the door of this facility have no social functionality whatsoever...bless 'em!
The standards of the organisation are therefore set by the leadership. I remember the landlords all rubbing their hands as the smoking ban drew closer, secure in the knowledge that their nice clean, smoke free pubs would attract more of the "right" clientele and the old "dinosaurs" can go where dinosaurs go.
One year on nearly, look at the moaning groaning mass of you now. You are all 30% down, minimum, in your takings, a lot of you are now opening shorter hours, and a lot of you, and your establishments are going to be casualties. A betrayal of your own profession and a shame on you all ( with one or two notable exceptions)
What's the point? you might say of all this drivel...well...pub culture has played a significant and enriching part of my social life, and many like me. I am sad and disheartened at the way pubs are going/gone and that my lifetimes culture a distant memory...Booths now sell the finest beers in the world at a Tenner a gallon.....what attraction is left in going to a pub??
I would say to all Landlords'ladies, abandon this misbegotten organisation, go to individual competition. Start thinking about the most important person in your commercial life...THE CUSTOMER.... think what YOU could do to attract this VIP back into your pub, and, once there, keep him there. The answers are simple....but have you got the bollocks to implement the solution, or would you take the traditional LVA stance.....problem? "put the prices up, that'll increase the margin!....really? "use us or lose us" Oh yeah?
I'm afraid, that after a lifetime, I would be prepared to LOSE YOU!! Sad innit !!
Signed
The Bard's Fan Club (Ulverston Branch)
Many thanks to...
Mike Skate, Wise Old Dave, Blue Herring and Zap.
© Ulverston Mass Media Project 2005-2009 ™ Ulverstonrant.com
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